Things I've Noticed

Knowing What to Do When Walking Towards People Is Tough

It’s needed on a daily basis, but I don’t ever remember my parents or any of my teachers explaining to me proper etiquette on what to do when I walk towards people passing in the opposite direction.  I’ve grown up and developed my own habits but there is nothing to validate that I am right or wrong.  In the street, we all pass by strangers.  Sometimes we look at them and sometimes we don’t.  It all depends on the situation, the vibe, and what the person looks like.  On the other hand, when we walk by people we know (such as at work,) I’m never quite sure that my nodding of acknowledgment for guys and occasional hello for other guys and some women is right.  Some people don’t even look you back in the eye and then you wonder what your approach should be the next time you pass them.  Then there are the moody ones that will say hello sometimes but not all the time.  That’s quite inconsiderate.  What can be going so wrong in your day (except for maybe a family tragedy) that you can’t say hello to a fellow co-worker?

Things get worse if you pass the same co-worker twice within a short period of time.  Do you say anything?  Hello a second time certainly doesn’t make sense.  Then there’s the long hallway situation.  You notice that you know a person walking the other way from a distance of 50 feet (unless you need a new prescription for your corrective lenses,) and you have to figure out where you’re going to look until you get close to perhaps 10 feet away to react.  Is that the right distance?  Who knows? With members of the opposite sex that might also be single and around the same age, the other person might think that a “hello” means you’re trying to pick them up.  And that only complicates matters. 

It’s amazing that we don’t have rules of etiquette for this all figured out.  We do have simple rules when you meet somebody for the first time at a business meeting.  You shake their hand, look them in the eye and introduce yourself.  Driving in a car and passing others by makes life easier.  You have to pay attention to the road so you don’t have to look at them and they can’t hear you so you don’t have to think about what to say.   Additionally, you pass by the other car at a minimum of 50 miles per hour of combined passing speed so the lack of time keeps this from being an issue anyway.  This is yet another reason why I love cars and driving.

I propose the following rules of etiquette.  When you walk by somebody at work that you recognize but don’t know well, say hi or hello (no matter how bad of a mood you’re in) and only if it’s the first time for the day.  If you know them by name, you say something like “Hey Charlie,” again, only if it’s the first time for the day.  For the second or subsequent times, just look them in the eye and nod your head.  For long hallway situation, look at the ground until 10 feet of distance.  If you pass by a stranger, you can do whatever you want but if you make eye contact, a smile and a “hi” seem about right.

There you go.  I’ve just solved one of life’s minor etiquette annoyances…   at least for the USA.

+ Atul

Quick Quote on Labels

"A label is inherently a stereotype."

+ Atul

Your State of Being Can Depend on Your State of Residence

I’ve written about cities people live in and the cool factor.  There is much to consider with respect to the culture, scene, and people.  But major laws that affect our lives tend to go with the state we live in.  Recent news has reminded me of how important this is.  Events such as forced examinations for pregnant women, the shooting of Trayvon Martin versus vigilante gun laws, and laws such as the death penalty are all ones that could either directly affect us or contradict our own philosophical principles.

People tend to move for the weather or job opportunities or to be closer to a loved one but few people consider the impact that the laws will have on their lives.  Often these laws are product of local cultural differences but some of them may be completely against what you are comfortable with.  And if you have children, you have to consider that they will be influenced by the local culture.  This is where openness to outsiders can be a big deal or openness to other races or religions might affect you.  Even your accent can have a negative impact if you move to certain states.

By having lived in 4 states, I have realized that minor laws can be quite different in each state and they can affect your life (or pocketbook) little by little.  Where and how much you pay for taxes or to register your vehicle, alcohol laws, the driving age, voter registration laws can all catch you off guard and take getting used to.  But these tend not to be a big deal. 

What is a big deal is that if you move to a state that leans heavily for or against your political party, your vote becomes less significant if not insignificant.  Divorce and inheritance laws can be different.  Police traffic enforcement varies widely from state to state and this can cost you.  Some states are more consumer friendly when it comes to contracts or insurance.  Most people don’t even think about such issues when they decide to move but these might be worth checking into.

I do in a way envy people who have never left the state they grew up in.  They live where everything is the way they’re used to and the way they expect.  It also makes the choice of where to live less of a factor.  A non-choice never leads to regret.  But moving around does expand our horizons and open our minds.  If you do move to another state, choose wisely.

+ Atul

Quick Quote on Random Acts of Kindness

"Acts of kindness should not be so random."

+ Atul

Mobile Phones Impact Our Lives In Ways We Don’t Consider

Everybody knows that mobile phones let us call from anywhere to people that are anywhere (where there's network coverage.)  We’re no longer tied to a cord to communicate.  Usage has spread so much that we take it for granted, but these little devices have changed our world in many other unappreciated ways.

People expect you to answer no matter where you are because most of us keep our phones on 24/7.  Mobile phones can run out of charge and that’s a perfectly legitimate excuse that wasn’t available with home phones.  When people had home phones, you knew where they were. Mobile phones let you pretend to be anywhere.  Area codes once meant something but now that people are transient and want to keep their numbers when they move to a new city, mobile phone area codes no longer represent where a person lives although they do give you a clue as to where that person may have lived at one time.

Mobile phones have become status symbols in a way.  They help define who you are just like cars do, although phones are easier and cheaper to update with the latest.  They travel with you no matter where you walk.  On the other hand, you travel with a car and you have to leave it parked somewhere once you reach your destination. 

I have a theory that the convenience of calling from anywhere at the last minute has made people flakier.  Why commit to meeting with friends if you can decide and contact them at the last minute?  In “the old days,” people had to figure out plans ahead of time and flaking out was more inconsiderate.  Finding friends when you do meet up is so much easier now too.  I don’t even remember how I found my friends before.  I know it didn't involve a megaphone though.

The best impact the mobile phone has had on society is the ability for people to reach each other in case of an emergency.  I’m sure many emergency situations have been averted or made a bit better because family members could communicate with each other.

The home phone is going the way of the dinosaur.  Mobile phones do everything a home phone can do and much more.  The savings from not paying for a home phone can be used towards paying for texting and internet service.  With that we can communicate with people via text without having to talk out loud.  Privacy is maintained and the interaction can be delayed.  Plus you can send pictures, sound and video to give live updates.  Having internet on the phone lets you look up directions at the last minute or find places to go that you would not have otherwise found.  Weather and traffic information is a touch and a swipe away.

It’s an amazing new world that mobile phones have created especially now that they’ve become “smart.”  We can never go back, but why would we ever want to give up our electronic Swiss army knives?

+ Atul