Things I've Noticed

Fortuitous Domain Naming - The Noticer and Andy Andrews

A while ago, I had bought the rights to the domain name thenoticer.com because I was considering changing the name of my blog to "The Noticer", (that would be me).  Then I decided against it temporarily, but held on to the domain name.  As good fortune would have it, motivational/inspirational writer/speaker Andy Andrews happened to decide to name his latest book The Noticer.  I had never heard of him but he is a New York Times Best-Selling Author who has also been on PBS.  The nice folks at the publishing company contacted me to see if I wanted to sell the domain, but I thought it would be best to hold onto it and leverage their referral program to help fund my web operations.

I should also mention that the company gave me a copy of every book, (signed by Andy Andrews), CD, and DVD that he has published.  That was really nice of them.  I'm almost done with The Traveler's Gift which is hard to put down due to its mix of poetic language and life lessons.

What's also interesting is that Andy Andrews has started a site called "The Noticer Project", (thenoticerproject.com), which allows people to write notes to the five most influential people in their lives. Those notes will be delivered in the regular postal mail and published on the The Noticer Project website.  If you're interested in buying some of Andy's books or multimedia materials, please click on the ad to the right to buy them.

+ Atul
(The Original Noticer)

Happy Holidays and "Non-Christian Indian-American Christmas"

I've been in Cleveland, busy with family, shopping, and eating.  We had a 65 degree day two days ago.  It was amazing.  Anyway, Santa brought me some cool stuff and I subsidized Santa a lot too.  I've officially designated the third day after Christmas as "Non-Christian Indian-American Christmas".  It's great because you get to buy presents while others are making returns and you get to take advantage of all the sales.  Most Indians like good deals and bargains, so it all works out well.  Procrastination for Christmas shopping becomes less of an issue because you get a few extra days to buy presents.  Plus, you can see what others didn't get for Christmas from friends who celebrate on Christmas day.  Then you can save the day and get them what they really wanted.  Instead of being a Secret Santa, you can be a Savior Santa, (not to be confused with Jesus Christ).  I suppose non-Christians who are not of Indian descent could also join in, but I don't know enough non-Christian non-Indians to spread the idea well.

Well, it's time to drink some late-night tea.  Look for a real post after the new year, 2009.  I have some great resolutions planned out that I'm just itching to break.

+ Atul 

Quick Quote on Tragedy

"Perhaps the sole purpose of tragedy is to remind us of what is truly important in life."

+ Atul

Dedicated to My Father - Please Donate for Leukemia Research And My 100 Mile Bike Ride

For those of you who don't know me well, my father passed away in July of last year due to complications from treatment for a relapse of his Acute Myeloid Leukemia.  I've been wanting to do something in his honor, preferably something that would help others.  I'm also a bicyclist who is far from a professional. 

So, I put the two together and decided to join the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team In Training.  I am training to ride my Specialized Allez Sport bicycle 100 miles at their event at Lake Tahoe in June.  (The most I've ridden at one time is 25 miles).  More importantly, we are raising funds to help stop leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma from taking more lives.  Hopefully, by donating money for research, scientists will be able to develop a cure for these diseases.  My goal is to raise $3,600 and I will have to cover whatever I can't collect.  I have to raise close to $1,000 by March to keep training with the team.

Please make a donation to support my participation in Team In Training and to help advance the Society's mission. Anything you can contribute will be appreciated.  My donation webpage takes credit cards and of course, donations are tax deductible.

Thanks for your support!
+ Atul

Quick Quote on Minorities

"Members of a minority are often considered representative of their group while members of the mainstream are considered more often as individuals."

+ Atul

An NRI, (Non-Resident Indian), American in India

I’m finally situated and back to normal here in Michigan.  I’ll take up where I left off with my last blogpost. My trip continued within my home state of Gujarat, India.  It’s quite an adventure whenever I go to India, and a lot has changed since my last visit in 1998.  Back then, nobody here had cell phones; now just about everybody does. Internet was an unknown term whereas now people know about it, but it’s not exactly easy to come by. I bought a wireless modem a few days after I arrived in Surat, and due to customer service that is poorer than in the U.S., it took nearly a week and multiple phone calls to get connected.

There’s always a connection to my culture and religion that I feel when I’m in India. I’m not a minority, and there’s no prejudice toward me, (although one merchant called me white). But it can be overwhelming. There are a billion people in this great country and anywhere close to a city is crowded. It’s generally dusty and/or dirty by American standards and there are bicycles, motorcycles, animals, and people everywhere. You hear horns blaring every couple of seconds since horns are used to let other drivers know of your presence and to reserve a right of way. When in a large store, the difficult part was finding my friends and family. I’m used to looking for black haired people amidst brunettes and blondes. That doesn’t work in India.

There are many things we in western cultures take for granted that most people don’t have or just can’t get here. One of these things is a lack of overt corruption. As soon as we left the Mumbai international airport, a police officer saw our out-of-state plates and asked our out-of-state driver for his license. Our driver had to pretend to not have it. He knew that if he gave it, the officer would take the license away and force us to pay for it in court the next day. This is a prime example of how it’s just a pain to get things done at times. You often have to bribe people to get what you deserve anyway.   We also take for granted clean drinking water. In the U.S., bottled water is an unnecessary luxury, but in India it’s a necessity for a non-resident. I used boiled or bottled water even when I brushed my teeth.

Hot water is not a given. You either have to heat it right before your bath or heat it in a pot and take a bucket bath with a cup. You pour water on yourself as you need. It’s a little inconvenient, but not too bad because it doesn’t get too cold in most parts of India.  Squat toilets are the norm but Western toilets are becoming more common.  When you travel, public restrooms can be unbearably dirty and make sure you keep toilet paper with you.

In general, getting anything done can be a pain. Many things are within walking distance, but if it’s not, it takes time to get across town by way of rickshaw. Traffic in Mumbai is horrendous and in Surat it’s bad for a city of its size. You just drive kind of randomly and do what you have to do to get to where you want. Following lanes are optional. There are many traffic circles and few traffic lights and there are still traffic cops stationed at intersections. The way people drive is in a manner I call “psychic, reluctant cooperation. If you squeeze your way into a spot, the other guy will eventually let you in and not hold a grudge or give you the finger. It’s just the way it is.   Also, people don’t really think about safety. It’s more of a faith-based system. You have faith that you won’t get into an accident so you don’t need a helmet or a seatbelt.

Litter is everywhere. In “the old days,” they used natural things like banana leaves for plates and burlap for bags. Now they use plastic. The culture doesn’t look down upon littering so it’s everywhere and it looks bad. In fact, it’s an assault on the eyes and one of the things I liked least about India. But it's the beautiful natural scenery and ancient buildings that really make India visually appealing.  In America, if a building is 100 years old, it's old.  In India, if something's 2,000 years old, it's old.

Also on the impressive side, things are happening in a positive direction. They are building large 6-lane freeways which will really help with travel times. Right now, if you can go 55 mph, you are flying. Average speeds are about half of what they are in the U.S.  In a few cities here, rickshaws ad buses have been mandatorily converted to run on natural gas which really helps reduce pollution. I call that progress. For this to happen in the U.S. would take years. Here, the government just says do it because it’s the right thing to do. They find a way.

Food is cheap. Even good food at a restaurant costs little. Six people can fill their stomachs with great food and service for 525 rupees, or $13. In addition, fruits and vegetables of all kinds are available in abundance at every corner. I hardly exercised, ate some rich food full of oil, butter, and whole fat dairy products, (albeit with good fruits and veggies), and didn’t gain any weight. I credit that to wholesome food without fortification or chemicals.

In many cities there, you still have the neighborhood feel where you know your neighbors and the people that run the shop down the street. Kids stop in at neighbor’s houses unannounced. It’s safe to walk around at night just about anywhere. At worst, you might get pick-pocketed. People with ill will rarely have guns and weapons.

People in India don’t use much energy per capita. They generally don’t have air conditioning or cars so carbon footprints are small. They air dry clothes and most of them wash clothes and dishes by hand. This is all changing though as electric home appliances are becoming more prevalent.

The economy is booming, thanks in part to a growing middle class and a developing infrastructure. Real estate prices and the stock market are going through the roof. I just don’t see how the country can grow like this forever with the increasing wealth disparity and hundreds of millions of other people that need to be taken care of instead of being left behind.I don’t know if this is necessarily a good thing or not, but they are starting to build malls and supermarkets in India, just like in the U.S.

I cherished my time in India with friends and family though and while there I missed home, but now that I’m back to normal life, I miss warm sunny days, not having to work, feeling like a millionaire and taking in the rich culture and history. Together, it all makes me realize how American I am but how much I appreciate my Indian heritage.

I have posted some pictures too. The trip made for great photography.

+ Atul

Quick Quote on Cleveland Sports

"When it comes to sports, God hates Cleveland."

+ Atul

Tackling Some Religious Commonalities

I'm going to try to write about religion in a hopefully non-controversial way because what I'm writing about is equally offensive to all religions, (but not that offensive).  Many people say that all religions originated from the same roots.  But that's not true to most people because if it was, all the religion-following  people would be of one religion and live in peace.

What I find interesting about many religions is that the description "God-fearing" is supposed to be a good thing.  Why is it good to fear what controls the universe or pervades the universe?  That would mean you would have to live your life in fear.  Or it just may mean that it's assumed you're going to do something wrong so you better be afraid of the implications.  Why not put a positive spin on the "consequences of believing"?

Another common thread with all religions is that we must continually praise God and  repeat God's name over and over.  If God is so wise and powerful, does God really need affirmation from us?  If I believe that God is great and that I am appreciative of God, wouldn't he know it?  God is omnipotent after all.  Why does anybody have to tell God overtly?  These questions may have "by-the-book" answers, but I don't know enough about all the religions for a satisfactory answer.  One other question for which no religion has given me a good answer is "why do babies die?"  Every religion has its own excuse, but no justified explanation.

Some religions like to convert people to their way of thinking.  I can understand that if you think your one way of worship is the right way, you want to share that with whoever you can.  But what about all the people that existed before the religion did?  Are they damned for not having known?  And if not, then one would hope that a forgiving God wouldn't hold it against a person living today in the middle of a rainforest who hasn't learned about the one true way.  The way I see it, if God wanted there to be one true way to believe, God would not have allowed all these other religions to exist.  And shouldn't the first religion be the most valid?  I would think that the direction to the one true faith would be obvious and heavily favored by events that occur courtesy of God.

The last area where I see religion pushing similar agendas is with their views on detachment from worldly possessions.  If God put us on this worldly planet, why would he want us to detach ourselves from the nice things that are available to us?  I guess you could say it's a test, but that's a bit mean.  One theory I have on why religion tells us to detach ourselves from our things and money is so that the temple/church/mosque/synagogue and its clergy can have more of them at our expense.  As far as I'm concerned, God doesn't need money because God already owns all the money and God should be able to move it around at will.

When people refer to God as "my God" or "our God", then they are supporting the idea that if I start a new religion tomorrow, that I will be creating a new God.  That would mean that man created religion instead of God creating man.  But then, who says there's only one God per religion?  Monotheistic religions tend to look down upon the idea of polytheism.  Perhaps it's because that concept does open the door to the creation of new religions and resulting new Gods.

Even though I'm a Hindu who's more philosophical than religious, these questions I have make me believe in religion with a grain of salt.  I believe in God mostly because I feel this universe is too well thought out to be just random, and karma makes sense to me in the way it explains the balance of the universe.  I apologize if I have offended anybody and I would hope that many people comment below so we can have some good philosophical discussion.

+ Atul

My Thoughts and Experiences In Dealing with The Death of My Father

After my father passed away, I was a bit hesitant to divulge who it was in my family that had died. I guess I was paranoid about privacy issues, or stolen identity problems. But it has been 2 weeks since my father breathed his last breath with us at his side and I realized that I shouldn’t let that stop me from writing about what I went through. I guess I’m writing this post for some self-therapy and to get all the thoughts I’ve had written down. My dad had apparently beat leukemia two years ago and was in remission, living life as before. Then, late this spring, the leukemia relapsed and he underwent chemotherapy again. With a compromised immune system from the successful chemo treatment, pneumonia set in, and his health degraded with other infections and complications that his body could not recover from. My father was a great man, but this post is not a tribute to him. All those that knew him understand why we all loved him, learned so much from him, and just enjoyed being around him. It was difficult, but I tried to crystallize my feelings towards him to honor him when I spoke at his funeral.

I’m writing this post about his death to illustrate how it can affect you when it occurs to somebody close to you. It’s easy to be objective about death when it involves others. A death in the family is one of those tragic events that's only supposed to happen to other people.  Once it happens to one of your own loved ones, it becomes completely subjective and personal, even though we all know that each of us must die one day. Many of you have been through this type of experience, and I don’t mean to dismiss the significance of your experiences and grief. Rather, I’d like to do what I always do when I write blog posts. I want to tell everybody things that they may not have realized about death, but that I recently have. At best, I can only wish that it may help somebody cope with death better in the future. 

The first thing I realized is that when somebody as close as your father has a severe illness, the minute-to-minute condition of your loved one is something that worries you constantly. The importance of anything else pales in comparison. Eating, sleeping, entertainment or anything else just didn’t matter. Even when I could fall asleep, it was frequently interrupted by spells of extreme anxiety over his well-being. The happiness or sadness of my relatives also became very important, perhaps more important than my own happiness. Their sadness was amplified when it made me cheerless. While we were in the hospital room, the monitoring equipment became a mood changer. Every move of a vital stat in the favorable direction made us hopeful; every one in the unfavorable direction made us pessimistic. It’s an addictive yet destructive habit that stems from worrying and seeking signs of assurance that everything will be alright. My father was unconscious while he was on the respirator, yet we gave words of encouragement in case there was some way he could hear us. Seeing all the equipment and intravenous medicine hooked up to his body made me feel sorry for him even though he didn’t realize what was happening or feel any pain.

Gradual degradation in his condition became a sort of easing into our  realization that he might die. Then, when it finally happened, the sorrow grew stronger, but the worry went away because I didn’t have to worry about whether or not he would make it. I knew the horrible answer. Then what overcame me was a feeling of disbelief. It was nearly impossible to fathom that one of the people I had loved and interacted with my whole life, my dad, would no longer be able to talk, laugh, or sit beside me again. Our last minutes with him after he died were very personal. Many tears were shed and we all said the sort of final words that we prayed he could hear. Even after my father’s heart and lungs stopped working, I actually thought I saw his chest rise and fall as if he was breathing. But it was just a psychological reaction, one that soon passed. Knowing that he was dead suddenly made me want to believe in heaven because it was comforting. I wanted him to see that we were there, that we pulled together, that so many of his friends and relatives came to support him and us. But I wasn’t so sure that his soul wasn’t on its way to being reborn into a new person. This made me both hopeful and distraught. 

All the subsequent cards, flowers, food, hugs, and phone calls from friends and family were invaluable.  I realized that the exact words that were spoken to support me didn’t really matter.  It was just nice that people were there for me and were understanding of my situation. I know that in the future, I will be a better friend to others who might encounter a death in their family now that I have been through it. I used to underestimate how difficult it is so I wasn’t as supportive as I should have been.

Even though it has been two weeks since my father died, it sometimes feels as though he is only gone temporarily… then it dawns on me that his unique combination of body soul and mind is gone forever. And it’s hard to accept. I wish he would have been there to see me get married, have children, or just generally succeed in life. He was the man I went to for advice, the one that brought me into this world, provided for me, and took care of me with his logical yet loving nature. At times I feel as though it’s not fair that he died after living only 66 years. This may sound selfish, but there are many evil people on this planet who perhaps deserve to die, but not my dad. Even seeing nice people living into their 70’s depresses me a bit because he wasn’t given the opportunity to live as long as so many others. It all doesn’t seem right, but this is what God has determined must be reality. 

I don’t cry much anymore when I think about him, but I sometimes zone out when the realization that he is gone suddenly hits me. Seeing others sad in missing him can still make me sob, and one of the strangest things is that I also get tears of half happiness and half sadness when I see how much people cared about him and his family.  Seeing how much they did for us, (and continue to do), to help us through the ordeal is touching to the point that it can be overwhelming. 

Often I feel like my dad is missing out on everything that’s happening right now. Sometimes I wish I could tell him about what’s going on in my life, and then I wish that he can observe it from wherever his soul is. I get a sense of guilt that my life continues without him because it’s wrong for me to leave him behind in any way; I feel as though I should somehow wait for him. But I suppose nobody can perpetually put their life on hold for the death of a loved one. And no loved one would want their family to do so. Life must go on, and keeping busy does help me get back to a sense of normalcy, but that hole in my heart will never fully close. My world has changed. Life will never be the same for me or my family, but I know that my dad would want us to carry forward with the love and lessons he gave to us as well as the fruits of the sacrifices he made for us.  I just wish there was so much more I could do for him.  One important thing I learned from this event in my life is that we must cherish our loved ones when we can and not dwell on petty matters that keep us from being close and sharing life.  It's too precious not to share.

+ Atul

 

Hating the Hate-able

Deni is staying true to form with this week's Roundtable blogpost in which he talks about things he absolutely hates.  And he asks whether it's alright to hate certain things and people.  It doesn't matter what you say, he's still gonna hate whatever he wants to hate.  But hop on over to his blog, Out of Tune, and let it out.  What are your views on hating and what do you hate?

+ Atul