I often see talk shows express the need for women to have role models so that they don't feel the pressure of having to look too thin or too beautiful and to be told that they are wonderful just the way they are. This is an admirable pursuit as it helps girls grow up into well-adjusted women. It also helps prevent anorexia, bulimia, and a host of other self-esteem issues. But isn't anybody worried about the young men in our society? They have just as much pressure to look good, and they also are pressured to be athletic, earn an education, and make a good living to provide for a future family. To be fair, I have seen public service efforts catered towards helping boys from various ethnic groups. These are great too, although their angle is different and doesn't cover mainstream, non-minority boys.
Societal expectations for boys as they grow into men are high. Physically, young men are supposed to have six-pack abs, be 6'0 or taller and well-built. At least boys can do something about being muscular; eat healthy food and exercise. But the pressure to look good is something that leads young men to sometimes over-exercise and take steroids and unhealthy nutritional supplements. We should address this too. Just as heavy women have difficulty in the dating world, so do out-of-shape guys.
Now that the world is less sexist towards women, men are also expected to help out around the house, and encounter women in the dating world who are more educated and can be just as choosy about looks and background. It's all fair and right, but it creates a conflict that didn't exist before. In "the old days", (based on my perception of it), small conservative communities led to dating within the community and women were more dependent on men because they typically did not become educated and were not taught to take care of themselves in the same way as today. This made them less choosy, and I would also say less disrespectful of men that wouldn't make the modern day cut. Today, how many times do you see it considered funny for a woman to slam a guy and outright embarrass him with rejection in front of others? I always say, "you can't blame a guy for trying," and women should be appreciative of respectful, well-spirited approaches by men. Many heterosexual women wouldn't like a world in which men didn't approach them. If a man rejects a woman disrespectfully, it is considered cruel. Also troubling are the countless jokes, (some even put forth by men), that say that men aren't smart, and women are better. I thought we were equal. I say that we are at least smart enough to pursue women. This should not be discounted.
Men should never be ashamed of being the way we were physiologically "meant" to be, (within moral and legal constraints of course). Women don't apologize for being womanly and neither should we apologize for being men. I know that some people are going to find this post by Googling some key terms, and a few will think that I'm sexist, but you would have to get to know me to understand that I support sexual equality completely. I just think it's time men take a stand for themselves and that we look out for young boys so that they can develop into great men. It's in everybody's best interest.
+ Atul
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