Bathroom Etiquette for Guys, More Questions Than Answers

This post may be more useful for guys, but it's hopefully entertaining and informative for women.  Going to the bathroom in public bathrooms for a guy can be an uncomfortable situation.  I should know; I've done it before.  But the rules of the game in there aren't known.  The only thing I know for sure is to not dispose of syringes the trash there.

Entering the bathroom when nobody is there puts you at ease.  It's like going to the john in your own home with just as much freedom, but a bigger room.  Sometimes they're smelly, sometimes they're nice but as guys, we can usually deal with that since most of the time we use the facilities while standing up.  However, walking into a bathroom with somebody in it presents all kinds of choices.  Should you say hello if you know the guy or don't?  Should you ignore him, (especially if you have to go No. 2)?  It's up to the individual, but the one part that's really tricky is talking to a guy you know at the urinal if he's at the urinal next to you.  Would you be rude not to say hello?  Should you just go into the stall and shut the door hoping he doesn't know who just walked in?  It's hard to know.  Now if there are multiple urinals and other guys are at them, it can be a difficult choice to know which one to choose.  It's best to choose one that's at least two spots away, but not all the way at the other end if it's more than two away.  That would make you antisocial and not manly.  They may think you have something to be ashamed of.  To choose the stall next to a guy when others are available would have the guy question your sexuality.  And looking over to see what the other person has is totally not cool, but I get the feeling that it does happen sometimes.  I'm not even sure if farting while in the bathroom is OK.  This is no time for curiosity to get the best of you.  Talking on the phone while in the bathroom just seems wrong to me so I've defined that rule for myself.  I've even heard of a guy dropping his BlackBerry in the toilet.  That has to be embarrassing and fishing it out cannot be pleasant.  Making the toilet stuck is not so much fun either.  You just hope you can pull up on the handle to stop it or that it doesn't overflow on its own.

Going "Number 2", presents a whole other set of issues.  You generally don't want others to know how long you're in the stall, so sneaking in is a good idea.  Is reading in there OK?  Then when you're in there, even though most of the time you're anonymous, making unpleasant noises or excessively nasty smells just seems wrong.  It's natural but it's still not acceptable for some reason.  And then when you're done, you have to do "the walk of shame" since you're the guy responsible for the smell and noises.  What can also happen is that you are in the bathroom after the guilty party leaves and the next guy assumes you made the smells.  Not fair, but part of life.

Washing hands is the right thing to do, but it's amazing how many guys don't wash their hands and don't even try to hide that fact.  To those men, thanks for spreading disease and general nastiness.  What men should consider are all the points I mentioned above and what women should know is that this frequent routine can be stressful for us guys. We don't "bond" in the bathroom and we don't have nice little lounge areas to relax.  We have to get in, do the right things and get out.

+ Atul

Comments

[Dave P]

You generally follow the same rules that I do. Seinfeld had an episode where these stall issues came up. The term "courtesy flush" came from it.

As far as conversation, it can be awkward. I think it's OK to talk and also OK not to talk.

You're right about always washing your hands. People sometimes just run their hands under water and call that handwashing. It's not the same. During my restaurant days, I would walk out of the bathroom with a paper towel in my hands as I dry them so others would notice that I have washed my hands and to give a good example to others.

[Atul]

I forgot about the "courtesy flush" episode. I also failed to mention the quick rinse hand washers who aren't accomplishing anything for epidemiology.

As for restaurants, I find it funny when signs in the bathroom say, "Employees must wash hands." I feel like crossing out the word "Employee" and writing the word "Everyone". Good idea for you to make it obvious that you were doing the right thing.

[its me......]

Im so embarrassed to say this so that is why it might go through. But the way Atul describes gender differences, in the bathroom, is alot like what Ive heard women say they want from sex, and how men deliver it,

Pretty funny, pretty interesting.

Nancy

[rich]

i say you should not say anything unless they say something to you. I find at bars/clubs people are more open to talk not sure why?

[Brad Engel]

When I go to the bathroom in public I always like to make a seen. I think it is fun to start a conversation with some else to see what they have to say. This usually ends up in a funny story.