Not Being Tall Gets You The Short End of The Stick

The last time I checked, my height was 5’8 and some fraction of an additional inch. By American standards, this is slightly below average for a male. But I like my height. I’m tall enough that I can see over my office cube walls, I’m taller than most women, (except maybe here in the Twin Cities), I can fit in any car, feel comfortable on any plane seat, and I never hit my head on a door frame. To clarify, I have nothing against my taller friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. I’m not "heightist". But we live in a world that judges people on height. Society in general doesn’t share my affinity for not being tall. I and many others pay the price every day.  Research shows that taller people make more money, and get elected more often than shorter candidates. They’re often seen as better leaders just because of their physical stature. But, everybody knows that some short people, like Napoleon and Gandhi were great leaders while some tall people like George W. Bush were clearly not.

Heightism is especially apparent on the dating scene. I can understand that a woman would want a guy at least a couple of inches taller for that whole protector masculine male / feminine female effect, even though a lot of short guys can kick taller guys’ butts. And many of them want to wear heels without appearing taller than the guy, but I’ve come across women that are scarcely above 5 feet tall who only want to be with guys that are 6’0” and taller. That’s like being prejudiced against your own kind. Perhaps they’re just trying to compensate. Regardless, wanting a guy over a certain height constitutes filtering a potential mate over one purely physical trait. I thought women wanted nice guys that could make them laugh. I’ve been mistaken all along. Sociological research shows that height is the number one factor women use to judge a man’s suitability as a mate. I could ask for a minimum measurements of a certain female physical feature, (if you know what I mean), and that would totally not be OK. (For the record, I wouldn’t do that.) I’m not sure where this double standard came from. I know that not all is roses for tall people though.  In my research, I've found that shorter women are preferred by men.  Tall women have to compete with the short women who only want tall guys. (They must really hate that).  And to be fair, tall men can be discriminated against too. Certain jobs don’t have the space for too much height.

In the athletics arena, height is an asset in almost every sport. Us shorter people resort to playing soccer which still holds advantages for tall players when it comes to headers. One can make up for being short by running fast, or having good jumping ability or long arms, but it’s not the same. I always used to joke that if I was as tall as Shaq, I could be a great basketball player too, (and I would have a much higher free throw percentage). There’s also interesting research that shows that taller people are slower to react to their surroundings, so maybe we have one slight advantage. I tend to root for the underdog, so I’m often cheering for short people like Spud Webb and Muggsy Bogues who played professional basketball in the NBA and were 5’7” and 5’3” respectively. We need to develop a new sport where being shorter is an asset, one besides horse racing.

In a way, I’d like to congratulate tall people for having won a kind of genetic lottery. I envy tall people without wanting to have their height. Maybe guys should be the ones who wear shoes with taller heels.  Contrary to what one might think, I don’t have a complex about my height. But height is obviously an issue with others, so I have to be aware of what factors might be working against me.  I’m lucky I’m not shorter.  Perhaps I’m just jealous of the free pass tall people get in so many avenues of life.

+ Atul

Comments

[Aleksandar M. Velkoski]

Atul, I'd like to study, in a little more depth, some of the research results that you quoted within your analysis. For example, to conclude that an individual's height at the age of 16 has a large impact on their salary as an adult, no matter what their height ends up being as an adult, doesn't really pass the test of basic logic (to me). Height at that age, of course, could be a COMPONENT of a more fundamental factor (like the development of confidence, for example), but to say a physical factor like height at the age of 16, a physical feature that is neither seen, nor quantified, at the time of hire is absolutely ridiculous.

When it comes to women, you have to have confidence man. Height is a factor, yes, like any physical feature, but I know more than a few guys that are under six feet tall that can seduce a women better their peers with statures above six feet. From my perspective(with only undocumented primary research to support my claim lol), your success with women has less to do with physical features than it does your psychological state of mind, energy, and how well you utilize of the art of seduction. I won't disagree that height can have it's advantages, but unless you're totally out of the ordinary (i.e. a five foot male), I wouldn't worry about it too much. It's all psychology Atul - this is promise you.

[Dave]

Sounds like a conversation we have had before.

[Crystal]

I am a tall female and I do not talk to short men only because I like taller men. I would like to look up to a man and not down. Now there I don't have anything bad to say about short men. I really don't think it's nothing wrong with it. just not for me and 5'8 is tall for a man to me another thing tall people are always being used by short people in the stores and short people can get under things better so both are used in some type of way.

[Dave P]

I went to the Lions game on Sunday. Andrea and I were in the concession line waiting to buy stuffed pretzels when over in the next line was a tall, attractive female with a shorter male. I immediately thought of Atul's height theory. When we arrived back at our seats, Andrea asked me if I noticed the tall female/short male couple in the other line. Andrea has echoed Crystal view in telling me that one of the reasons she dates me is because I am tall.

Crystal-during a number of conversations I have had with my friend Atul about this topic, we had never discussed how height affects the shopping experience. Thanks for introducing something new.

[Victoria Mast]

Speaking as a shorter female, I believe this blog may be a generalization. Although there may be some elements of truth,truth is seen in the eyes of the beholder. To me, 5'8 is tall. As Crystal pointed out, the shopping experience is different for those who are shorter, and those who are taller. Think about being super tall. Would you really want to have to shop at specialty stores, because you are taller than everyone else?
As far as the dating arena is concerned, I would prefer someone taller than me. Even if they are only a couple of inches taller. My potential mate does not have to be 6 foot. Personally, I would rather find Mr.Nice than worry about his height.

[UH2L]

Yes, my post is more of a generalization about things as they are on the whole. Everybody is different. But the fact that three females said they want to date guys who are taller than them supports the idea that this is important. It's a factor that would prevent some, (not all), women from considering a guy. In this era of equal rights, which I fully support, I would think that this would not be as important anymore. Perhaps what's hardwired in our brains will never go away. Again though, there are always exceptions.

[Nick Girimont]

Having played in many sports throughout my life, I can directly relate to this height issue. When I was younger I would play a power forward position in basketball because I was stronger and could position myself well in the post. This worked quite well for me while playing for the church basketball team grades 5-8.

When I got to the high school level however, there was no more basketball for me to play. My height stayed around 5' 8'' - 5' 9'' and that was much too short for that position. I could not make a switch to the other positions because I was so used to just catching a ball, positioning, and shooting or passing. I had poor dribbling skills in comparison to my peers that were trying to play guard. I then had to change sports to football where I could play a lineman. The height did not have to be so much a factor, but I could utilize my strength still.

[Wagdan Almansoob]

I my life time I have experienced both ends of the stick. Growing up as a child, I was always the tallest among my peers. I enjoyed this advantage because it allowed me to be a better athlete among my shorter friends. Now all grow up I’m 5’8”. At this height I don’t consider myself short. I can get and do the same things as taller and shorter friends. Although it seemed an advantage as a kid, I don’t see it an advantage as a man. I also don’t believe in statistics such as “taller people make more money”. Although they may be true, I believe that you get out what you put in.

[Victoria M.]

Maybe I should clarify something I didn't say. I should add that I wouldn't mind dating someone who is the same height as I am.

[Joe S.]

As a male who is a little under 5'8" and thus in the same boat, I agree that tall men do have an advantage in the dating game and the workplace. However, it is certainly not an insurmountable advantage. While there are some women who will reject a man because he's not 6'0" (yes, even 5' nothing women), this is certainly not the standard of your average woman. Any 5' woman who would reject you because you are 5'8" is not worth your time anyway.

My experience has been that men 5'7" and above do just fine. However, I do have a couple of friends below that mark, and it does seem that they have significant difficulty finding interested women.

[Kim D.]

I believe I heard somewhere (although I can't find a source) that taller people are generally attracted to shorter people and vice versa. It is in our human nature: that's why later generations are not becoming increasingly taller (or shorter). Short people generally reproduce with tall people so we do not have a population with pockets of short and tall people without a clear medium.

Personally, I think it's nice to have a taller man, but it does not mean they have to be really tall. A few inches is satisfactory.

[Joanna P]

I feel our society always puts too much emphasis on looks. We always strive to be something we are not. I feel that short men do have a harder time in life. This may be due to lack of confidence. One of my best friends is a 5'1" male. He is 21 years old, but he does not look a day over 15. Life is a constant hassle for him. He gets made fun of almost on a daily basis. His height is not his fault because it is purely genetics. It is disheartening that things have to be this way for him. I do not think our society will ever change the way it sees people. We are visual creatures and tend to judge a lot on looks.

[Keesha M.]

I am a woman who is 5’3 and I must tell my story! I have dated men who were 6’0 and above my whole life. About two years ago I finally gave a man who was about 5’5, a chance. He was the perfect gentlemen. He opened my doors, paid for all of our dates, and made sure to call more than once a day (if we didn’t see each other everyday). There was only 1 problem… HE WAS SHORT. See, I always had a complex when I was with him. When we laid down our feet touched. This was not normal for me because my feet never meet with a man who was 6’0, and although it seems trivial it was a big pet peeve of mine. When we were out in public, if he was around a lot of tall men he would make sure to pull me close and try to show a lot of public affection, which I don’t like. In the end, I ended up leaving him. I don’t think the fact that I didn’t like that he was short was 100% of the problem. It was also his insecurities about his height that was a big problem. Atul, I think you are right our society does place a lot of value on height, especially for a short male or a tall female. A lot of what and how we view things are based on how we feel society views us, are we too tall/short or fat/skinny. This height issue is no different. I wish it could all be about whether or not a man treats you well, but attraction is a BIG issue and some people are just not attracted to short men. I must say, I too root for Spud Webb and Muggsy Bogues for the mere fact that it’s harder for them to get their goals accomplished, and when they do it is so much a sweeter glory! Let me leave you with this though, I really do feel that if a short man has great “swagger” (a hip-hop term for confidence and personality) then he is much more attractive, and even "dateable".

[UH2L]

JoeS,

I agree that we can do fine at our heights and that it is tough for guys who are shorter, especially when shorter women like tall guys. We should all want to be with women who don't filter out men based on height.

Kim D.,
I think the shorter/taller couple applies when the women are shorter and not the other way around. I think most women want a guy who's taller than they are, probably for the sense of security and the hardwired psychological feeling that the man can provide better.

JoannaP,
Perhaps shorter men have less confidence because they less often considered for dating just because of their height. If women didn't mind shorter guys, they would be more confident. Looking young is another issue. Short people can look older and mature as well. Your statement, "We are visual creatures and tend to judge a lot on looks." says it all.

Keesha,
If you had a complex about being with a sub-6 footer, perhaps it's a reflection on how you feel about his height, not on him. I've never been insecure about girls I dated falling for other taller men. I figure they would grow to love me the more they got to know me. :-) I agree, teh fat/skinny thing is similar to the short/tall thing. It's all about how we're hardwired to be attracted to certain physical attributes. Confidence is always attractive and it can be shown by men or women of any size and shape. It's just hard to have confidence when others don't affirm how you feel about yourself.

[Dave P]

Research by anthropologist Dr. Boguslaw Pawlowski of Poland’s Wroclaw University suggests women prefer to date men who are taller than they are. The ideal proportion, gleaned from a study of 600 participants between the ages of 19 and 50, is that the man should be 1.09 times (i.e. about four inches) taller than his partner. In other words, women want to be able to put on stilettos and still be a little shorter than their men.

[charles]

short guys are also shown to live longer.
Asian males 84.56 years
white males 75.7 years
(all this data is for the USA)
height average
Asian males 5 feet 7 inches
White males 5 feet 10 inches
being tall when your elderly is dangerous. It places larger strain on your organs, you have farther to fall (old peoples bones are weak), and they have more cells to become cancerous. Being tall decreases your life expectancy