Don’t Use A Nickname Just Because Your Name Isn’t “American"-sounding

My full first name is Atul (pronounced Uh-tool with no accent on any syllable.)  It’s not a nickname.  It’s not shortened.  It’s Indian and I’m proud of it.  It’s only 4 letters and 2 syllables yet many people have a problem with it.  They often see it or hear, don’t recognize it and then proceed to guess at what it should be (as if reading 4 letters is difficult.)  Even worse, they figure out that it sounds like “a tool,” and get that smirk and snicker because they think it’s funny.  They’re thinking “you’re a tool.”  Turns out I’m not.  Do they think they’re going to make me like them more by trying to make fun of my name?   What people don’t realize is that even with English-acceptable names, there are many that sound like other words.  We have just learned to accept them without thinking twice.  To show the ridiculousness of people making fun of my name and other foreign ones, I have listed some common names that sound like other words and some equally asinine comments that could be used in response to their names…

-       Matt     You must enjoy getting stepped on when people walk in the door.
-       John     You’re named after a toilet
-       Sandy   Were you at the beach lately?
-       Chuck  What do you throw, rocks
-       Dick     You are a jerk aren’t you?
-       Randy   Don’t get fresh with me

-       Carrie  What are you carrying?
-       Bob      Do you bob in the water like a buoy?
-       Doug    What have you dug up?
-       Frank    Are you telling me your honest opinion?
-       Mary    Marry me.
-       Angel    Touched by one lately?
-       Bill        Are you a $100 dollar bill? Or a one dollar bill?
-       Sue       Please don’t sue me.  I don’t have any money and didn’t do anything wrong.
-       Victor   Do you always win?
-       Will      You like to write wills for people?
-       Mark    So is that like a birthmark or a pen mark?
-       Phil       Do you fill gas?
-       Rich     Do you have a lot of money?
-       Don     You now wear gay apparel?
-       Cam     Are you part of an engine?
-       Guy      Which guy are you?
-       Lisa       Are you going to lease a car instead of buying one?
-       Nick     You must have a mark from something sharp nicking you.
-       Paul      Are you going to be a pall-bearer?
-       Jack      You must be good at lifting up cars.
-       Harry   Do you shave all your body hair?
-       Pat       You must work security and pat people down.
-       Chris    Do you like to criss-cross a lot?
-       Abby    Are you on that show Downton Abbey?
-       Dawn   Is that your favorite time of day?
-       Carol    Do you sing during Christmas?
-       Terry   I know what kind of towels you use.

So, as you can see, my name is not alone.  Just because it’s not European in its origins doesn’t mean it needs to be changed to accommodate ignorant people.  My name is not O’Toole either.  I’m not Irish.  People don’t realize that my first name is quite common.  Just Google it in conjunction with my last name and you’ll see that there are hundreds of them in the U.S.A.  If something is weird because it’s unusual, then my name is by definition not weird.  In fact, I’ve run into other people in the U.S. who have met other Atul’s  Had I and the other Atul’s used a nickname, these people who met us would not have realized the commonality of the name.

I sympathize with people when they can’t pronounce a word from another language properly.  When we grow up speaking a language, it’s hard to speak sounds that your native language doesn’t have.  In my case, it’s hard for people who are only familiar with English to not accent a syllable in every word.  Not accenting either syllable in my name is what is done to pronounce it properly but 95% of people I meet can’t do it.  When they try, they say my name like ah-tool instead of uh-tool and I find that irritating so I just tell them to say Atul like “a tool.”

My name could have been harder to deal with either for their spelling or their apparent pronounciation.  I know people named Shital, Hardik, Dixit, Ashfaq.  They must have a rougher time with their names.  But many of them weren’t born here or their parents didn’t expect them to live in an English-speaking country so they didn’t consider the impact of their kid’s given name (that is if the parents knew English.)

In then end, all our names are unique to one or a few cultures and they should be respected and perceived as being from another culture not as a word in another language.  It’s juvenile and I almost can’t believe it still happens.  One could consider it a subtle, hidden form of prejudice.  Make the other person feel uncomfortable and then they won’t ever feel fully accepted.  Maybe they’ll leave and won’t come back.  It didn’t work for many of our immigrant ancestors and it still won’t work.  So I say to those of you with unusual-sounding names from other cultures, be proud and don’t cover it up with an American-sounding nickname.  Your grandparents would be disappointed.  Fight the ignorance and stupidity that still exists. 

In contrast, some parents give their kids American-sounding names and that’s fine.  It’s their right.  But in a way, it’s denying their heritage.  I suppose, using a culturally correct name that is more acceptable here is probably the easiest way to go but that limits choices.  And who doesn’t want to name their kid without barriers?

Speaking of names and pronounciation, check out this other blog post from July, 2006.

http://uh2l.blogs.com/things_ive_noticed/2006/07/lost_in_transla.html

+Atul

 

Comments

[myblackfriendsays]

I agree. We're arguing on that other NPR thread. I don't like to argue on the internet. But I do agree with what you wrote here.
Whatever your name is, be proud of it and expect people to take the time to learn how to pronounce it.

[UH2L]

Hi,

Yeah, it's easy to get into arguments on-line but we both mean well. Thanks for visiting my blog and yes, you see a bit of what it's like to have a non-mainstream name. I went to your blog and it turns out we both started our blogs in 2006. Not many people keep theirs going for so long.

Take care.

[Jake L]

After reading all the names I can't stop laughing. Now anytime I see one of those names, oh it's gonna be a field day

[Rachel K]

With the last name of Koscielecki, I have heard many different pronunciations. Some people do not even attempt to say it. But I'm proud of my last name. It's my subtle way of telling everyone that I'm 50% Polish.

[UH2L]

Jake,

Glad you like them. I think your name escaped the list. :-) Although there is something called a "jake brake" on semi trucks. Google it.

Rachel,

You know what it's like and I know what you mean when people don't even try. It even happens after you pronounce it for them, right? There's no mistaking your last name as Polish which is good.

+ Atul