On Being Offended, Who Has A Right to Be and A Right Not To Be

Humans will always have prejudices and biases against others who are not like themselves.  It’s in our nature from infancy.  We can try to eliminate it for adults, and the situation is getting better, but it doesn’t look like it will ever go away completely.  Many recent events in the world continue to bring our differences to the forefront.  We have had unjustified shootings of blacks by police, the Rebel flag coming down at government buildings as a result of shootings at a black church, ISIS and anti-Muslim sentiment, anti-immigration feelings against Hispanics.  The internet is full of hatred and vitriol from all sides and it’s getting out of hand.  We all have opinions and the internet  and social media give each of us a worldwide soapbox.  What gets me is how people are offended for themselves, offended for others and how others think the people being talked about have no right to be offended.  I’m writing this blog post to say that taking offense is the right of the object of the conversation, not anybody else and definitely not the originator of the potentially offensive thought.

I’m Hindu, Indian-American, and vegetarian so that makes me the butt of many jokes from Apu on the Simpsons to the anti-vegetarianism to anti-Muslim sentiment just because I may look Muslim (not that it should matter.)  I’m not easily offended, but if you make fun of me, then it’s my decision whether I want to be offended or not.  Perhaps it’s more of a natural reaction but it’s something that I may have some control over.  Other people who are trying to be supportive may take offense but that’s not their place.  What if I’m not offended or if most others that are being subjected to comments are not offended?  Then people on the other side think we’re overly sensitive and that can lead to (unjustified) backlash by them.

I’m not black and I can sense when people say things and are trying to offend them.  I don’t like it and it makes me not like the person talking but it’s not my call in borderline cases whether or not blacks should be offended.  The absolute worst situation is when people from a mainstream group become combative because others are offended.  How do they know what it’s like?  Just as I can never know what it’s like to be pregnant, a white person can’t know what it’s like to be black or what it feels like when you are denigrated because of nothing other than your ethnicity.

So, leave the justification for being offended to those who are affected and carry on… and don’t be offensive.  Many people say we’re too afraid to not be politically correct but I always say P.C. is in the heart.  You don’t have to watch what you say because your heart is in a place where offensive thoughts don’t come to mind and they don’t slip out from your mouth.  P.C. is the way it should be naturally.

+ Atul